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So here's the question: How great should the sex be the first time if I want this guy to stick around? Do I pull out all the stops? Should I plan on maybe just one of the little ideas we've flirted around? I kind of wonder if I should steer things in the direction of just pure romance the first time, or is jumping right into what is fun for me -- and apparently him too -- a good idea? I feel pretty comfortable with my decision to not introduce any toys or gadgets the first time. But what if he suggests or comes up with one? Should I say that I'd prefer au natural at first and promise we'll get to the toys on another occasion?

Or, should I let him show me how creative he is and what he likes to do?

I might not have these questions if our circumstances were different, but here's the deal: His wife died, after a long illness, 10 months ago. He was happy with her. He has dated a little, but I'm pretty sure no or not much sex. I'm desperate for some great sex and a great connection.

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